The answer.
At first, beautiful.
Servant of life, balm for pain. At first.
The sacrifice seems worth it,
A manageable cost. At first
problems cast into some corner
to be dealt with a future day
True cost
Engulfs the whole of life. In time.
Takes over. Taken.
Possessed by spirit..
Drives you.
Driven by unmet needs.
Driven by quiet despair.
Driven by promises to fix.
Numb to the source.
Numb to the pain.
Numb to the lies.
But as always,
the power to numb dies
Waiting pain no longer waits till tomorrow
The road back is as long or longer.
Destruction used to be so easy to ignore
with the escape, with the noise,
with your eyes shut.
But now. Insulation over.
Allure gone. Romance ruined.
Vomit on the floor.
The fabric of life unravels.
This moment: a new choice.
Surrender yourself.
You clearly haven’t the power
you were seeking
Heel yourself.
Give yourself up
to something greater.
Surrender yourself
back to you.
————————————
In response to pain and trauma (pick and choose, it’s all around us), we mask it with distractions of all types. We crawl out from under the weight of discomfort through myriad means (choose your poison). On the return from the high, the world we return to is as fucked up or more so than at our time of personal departure. So we depart again. A routine, subconscious cycle that dictates our lives and defines our existence. We can find the strength and supports to land back in the world and face and work on (personally and collectively) the broken shit.
I am kicking myself for being so late to this band. I found out about them from their HIRS collaboration and went straight to this album, oh my godddd it is incredible. My turntable stays at 45RPM because I keep putting this one back on. Keep pushing yall. Trillis Schlafly